Handful of Flowers

A Hands-On Approach to Practicing Gratitude

written in July 2019

A mudra is a hand gesture used in meditation to help direct energy to a single point of focus. Think of it as a physical anchor for your attention — a way of channeling what might otherwise drift.

When working with the “handful of flowers” mudra, I became more aware of the chatter in my mind. These are my reflections.

Candlelight soaks the room. My eyelids feel heavy as I extend my torso over my knees into Child’s Pose.

“Now open your hands into Pushpaputa Mudra, as if you have a handful of flowers,” my teacher says.

I open up the palms of my hands like the pages of a book. Immediately, I feel my heart ache.

I notice — I don’t feel a pile of flowers in my palms. I feel empty, like I’m begging.

The next day, I practice yoga at the same time in the same studio. We move into the same pose and unfold our hands into the same mudra: Handful of Flowers.

Except this time, I feel it. Tingles of joy burst from my fingertips. I feel the petals piled up in my hands. I finally feel connected with the mudra’s beautiful name.

At last, I feel as if I am indeed holding a handful of flowers.

The next day, I go to yoga class.

Excited by my progress with Handful of Flowers mudra, I fold over my legs into Child’s Pose.

I think about the first day when I felt empty and in need, like I was asking for something from the universe.

I think about the second day when I felt full of light and bursting with joy, like I was offering up a gift.

Now, I close my eyes and open my palms. I measure my inhale against my exhale, inching toward equanimity in every corner of my body.

Right side, relax.

Left side, release.

When I open my eyes, I notice that I’ve dropped the story about who has the flowers. I realize I didn’t think about flowers at all, actually, in the past few minutes of holding my hands out like an offering.

Instead, I feel open. One hand receiving, the other, giving. I feel a balance between the giving and the taking away. I feel pure gratitude.

The dawning moment was when I realized that I create a story around my empty hands. That story changes day by day — some days, I feel empty. Others, I feel full. Every day, my hands are as empty as ever.

So then, maybe this is the practice:

Embrace emptiness,

offer it as openness,

and breathe into the present moment.